The other night, by some miraculous stroke of luck, the kids were chill enough for me to take an uninterrupted soak in the tub! Or so I thought. I had washed my hair, soaped my body and settled into my bath. With eyes shut, I started to day dream my way into fantasies of garage makeovers and backyard garden oasis’ when I was suddenly jarred back to this world. So who rudely invaded upon my relaxation and peace?? My bladder. Yup, as I soaked in my deliciously scalding hot bath water and relaxed every single muscle in my body I realized all too late that I should have kept one tightened. I was immediately pondering my next course of action. Do I choose to continue to relax and enjoy my pee bath, completely uninterrupted by crying children, and ignore the fact that I’m essentially sitting in my own urine, or do I get out and let this rare opportunity pass with no certainty of possible future occurrence? Normally (yes, it’s happened before) I can ignore it and continue to relax. However, on this occasion I just happened to have ingested a new liquid vitamin (part of a new arsenal of healthy supplements my family started this week) that causes my pee to be a bright, radioactive shade of lime green. As it crept throughout my bath water I somehow became more disgusted than I would have been with my previously clear elimination and decided it was all too much to ignore. I jumped up, rinsed off and opened the door to my sticky, snot covered reality. Only, on this particular occasion, it was easily won over my fallen competition. Eh well. I’m sure I’ll get another chance to enjoy a quiet bath alone. If not, there’s always chocolate.
Don’t read at me with that disgusted look on your face! You know you’ve been there in some way, shape or form! Admit it! You’ve chosen a pee bath in order to obtain some much deserved relaxation! Or maybe I’m just super gross? Whatever dude.